On Bringing Children Up in the Lord’s Discipline and Instruction

Ephesians 6:4b
October 20, 2019
Abraham Hong

Sermon Script

Praise be to our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and thanks be to him. Because he cares about our relationships. He cares about wives and husbands. He cares about children and parents. He cares about workers and masters. These are the most significant and meaningful relationships that we have as we wait for the return of our King. And your King cares deeply about them. He cares deeply about your relationships. He cares deeply about the people you live with and eat with and work with. He cares deeply about you.

This is the heart and mind and will behind today’s text, Ephesians 6:4b, where it is written, “Fathers, … bring [your children] up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” Before we dive into the meaning of this text, we must not miss what is beautiful and stunning here. We must not miss the beautiful and stunning fact that Jesus cares about our children, and that Jesus speaks his word for their sake.

In Paul’s time and place, children were not really given much time, and children didn’t really have a place. They were often undervalued and over-exploited in society. They lacked protection and position. They were vulnerable and helpless. They were not important. They were small in the eyes of the world. And so in Luke 18:15-17 we are told that the disciples of Jesus actually rebuked those who were bringing children to Jesus. This was the life of children.

But praise be to our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Fathers are commanded to bring their children up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord… because the children of the Lord are precious and holy in his sight. In Luke 18, Jesus said, “Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God.” This is beautiful and stunning. Jesus cares for our children. Our children have great value in the church. Our children have a special place in the heart and mind and will of Christ Jesus our Lord. Thanks be to God.

I am emphasizing this in today’s sermon because I want us to be Christ-centered and gospel-driven in our obedience to God’s word. Make no mistake, the doers and obeyers of Ephesians 6:4 are the fathers of God’s church in particular and the parents of God’s church in general. But at the end of the day, the receivers and beneficiaries of Ephesians 6:4 are the children of God’s church in total. So praise be to our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and thanks be to him. Jesus cares deeply about our relationships with our children. And Jesus cares deeply about us. Whenever you think about this command, I want you to always think about the Lord’s love for our children. Sometimes you will be motivated to obey this command because you deeply love your children. But when you are not motivated to obey this command because you do not deeply love your children, look first to Christ and his gospel, and know that he loves your children more than you and more than you could possibly imagine.

Let us now turn our attention to Jesus’ command. It is simple but profound. Fathers are commanded to bring their children up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

It is worth noting here that the command is distinctly addressed to fathers. This does not mean that mothers are not involved with the discipline and instruction of their children. Rather, this means that the discipline of children is so important that the Lord addresses the ones who have been given final responsibility for loving and nurturing children. This means that the instruction of children is so high a priority that the Lord commands the ones who are the heads of their households, the ones whom the Lord holds accountable to oversee the spiritual well being of their families.

Therefore, to all the fathers here at Highland, you have another high calling to fulfill in your life. Not only are you to use your headship and authority to be a blessing for your wife’s spiritual well-being and love her as Christ loves the church, but you are to also use your headship and authority to be a blessing for your children’s spiritual well-being and, with the good help of your wives, bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Fathers and brothers, you have two good shoulders to use. With one shoulder, you carry the good burden of caring for your wife. With the other shoulder, you carry the good burden of caring for your children.

So dear fathers and brothers, may you listen carefully, and may you understand the will of our Lord here in Ephesians 6:4. When Jesus commands you to bring your children up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord, he is talking about their spiritual well-being. And you can break down their spiritual well-being into two basic categories.

First, you need to tell your children the bad news of their person and work and the good news of Jesus’ person and work. Your children are born as sinners. And so the first goal is that your children would hear and know the bad news and the good news and then repent of their sins and believe in Jesus. This comes first. And this is nothing short of a miracle and an act of grace from God. But do not fear anything here. Talk about the bad news of sin and misery and death and hell. And share about the good news of Jesus’ life and Jesus’ death and Jesus’ resurrection and Jesus’ return. Many of you have gone on mission trips in your life. Many of you have done evangelism in this world. Your children is a mission trip of a lifetime. Evangelize to your children as the church evangelizes to the world. This is the starting point of bringing your children up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

But it doesn’t stop there. Second, you need to walk with your children and be their lifelong spiritual coach and cheerleader. You need to train them and encourage them and correct them and lead them to spiritual maturity, godly character, holy wisdom and the fear of the Lord. And as they grow in the gracious sanctification of God, you need to do the process and believe in it. Give them room to grow and practice and change. Pick them up when they sin and fail and cry. In the spirit of Deuteronomy, talk about the gospel and law of Christ when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. And do this over and over and over again and again and again. Because your children won’t grow overnight. Because you love them to the end. Because you were once a child too. Because God is even to this day graciously sanctifying you. This is what it means to bring your children up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

The high goal and the hopeful result of this command is awesome. Lord willing, your children will see how you bow down to a King unseen. Lord willing, your children will grow up to become men and women who love and serve Christ Jesus. Lord willing, your children will be face to face before the Lord in the new heavens and new earth with you. Few things are more exciting than this. Few things are more exciting than bringing up our children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

I am really thankful and proud of the fathers that we have here at Highland. If I ever get married and have kids, I want to be like you guys. I praise God that Isaac, Glory, Olivia, Noah, Selah, and Julia are in good hands. You guys are the best.

As I close, all I ask from you right now is continued humility. At the end of the day, dear fathers and brothers, you are not the king over your children. Jesus is the king over your children. Because Jesus has given your children to you. Because Jesus has given you to your children. Ephesians 6:4 does not say, “bring up your children up in your own discipline and your own instruction.” Rather, it says, “bring up your children up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” Dear fathers and brothers, may you tremble with the fear the Lord, knowing that while you can provide food and shelter and education and love and more for your children, there are some things that you cannot provide. You cannot give your children a new heart. You cannot give your children salvation from sin and death. You cannot give your children the new heavens and the new earth. You cannot give your children Jesus. Only Jesus can give these blessings to them. Only Jesus can give himself to your children. Therefore, fathers and brothers, may you fall at the feet of Christ Jesus your Lord. May you pray for his mercy and grace. May you bring up your children in his discipline and his instruction. And may the Lord Jesus Christ give you grace and strength as you obey his word for the sake of his glory and for the sake of your children.

Soli Deo Gloria